yeah i feel sad now. i felt terribly bad. im afraid what might happen to me. there are many things that complicate my mind. i don't know what should i feel, what the first thing i should do. all this emotions occur when jet leave me one month ago. i tried to hide the feelings. i don't want anyone to be pitiful with me. it sucks hearing pitiful words from them.that's why it's hard for me to share my problems. i may look happy all days in school, laugh out loud with friends, night out gimiks with barkada but i don't know if they can notice the sad part inside my heart. it's hard to accept the reality that the man i love before is not at my hand anymore. yeah i sound pathetic n nga siguro. but it's true. there's still a hope in my heart that someday he will come back and ask me to forgive him. i do love him. i know i have mistakes in our relationship but he never tried to understand me. i know he's just selfish and i can't let go him in my mind eventhough i know he hurt me so much. i felt depressed everytime i will think that he leave me for just stupid reason. it's almost a month since he leave but still i can't move on. it's hard before you go to sleep you remember the times you spend with him and it just made me cried over and over.i don;t know why i shared this story here and i don't know who are the people who might read this blog. they will be pity with me or they just ignore this one? it sucks. i know it's wrong to feel this. but i can't let go the emotions. lalo lang ako nasasaktan.and im afraid what might happen if i continue to feel this one. i don't want anyone to be hurt and i don't what to be hurt at the same time.alam kong mali pero hindi ko lam kung pano ko gagawin.ang dami problema. sobrang dami. why should i feel this emptiness? i know im bad but i don't deserve this. why?? ayoko na ng ganto kasi masakit na tlaga. hirap na ko. paulit ulit ko nlng naiisip un. i don't want to suffer severe depression. i dont want! i dont want anymore to cry every night. i waste a lot of tears . please GOd help me to overcome this emotions. :(
Labels: depressed |